March 23, 2012

Let Me Out!

Martin Creasey

I’ve been nervous lately. My writing seems stale. So many writers have personality drenched blogs and I wonder how to break the cage I’ve built around my own creative self. It seems like something that must be done from the outside. The tiny screeching beastie flying around inside can’t seem to get out on her own. I’ve been trying to free her by indulging in the things that made her happy, back in the days when she was free. I’ve been listening to music more, looking at more artwork, taking pictures, singing, writing. Every now and then, we can hold hands through the bars, but I can’t seem to get the fucking door open. I’m feeling desperate. Like if I can’t free her now, she’s doomed. She’s fading away, her little wings fraying, her glittery skin turning sallow, her eyes becoming sunken. Once in a while, she grabs the bars and shakes them furiously, screaming her frustration and I weep on the outside, knowing I have the key…somewhere.  But WHERE?!

I’ve been pouring over the internet searching for inspiration.  For a while, I found it here at S&S. I spent enormous amounts of time and had a blast building the blog, my twitter presence and even a facebook page. I’ve been delving deeper into the internet and the rabbit hole sucked me in. Eventually, my eyes lost the ability to focus in the real world, I had something like sun-blindness every time I turned away from the computer; and my brain, my poor brain, it started to hum, then rattle and finally it shuddered to a halt. I’d lost the spark. The artwork, the music, the other fantastic bloggers, didn’t get me in the mood for writing anymore. I almost shut down the computer. But like an addict, I kept at it, a burnout with glassy eyes and twitching fingers.  

I hit on a horoscope widget site. I don’t even remember how I got there, but it reminded me of how much fun I used to have with astrology and tarot cards, I even have my own tarot deck (where IS that?). I kept randomly surfing the net, like a rat foraging for food in the landfill. I ended up on Pinterest and saw an image of a beautiful “Moon” tarot card, and I thought, what if I tried to break through this malaise by writing flash fiction inspired by this card? What if I did this for all the cards? Hmn, that would be really hard. But maybe this is the key…but what if it takes away from working on my novel? But I haven’t been writing my novel...maybe this will help me create a habit of writing. Maybe this will help me break that damn cage. 

I really hope so, dead fairies make me sad.

PS: This is the long-winded introduction to my new page: Tarot Inspired Flash Fiction.
UPDATE: Sorry, guys, I've disabled the Flash Fiction page: to see the tarot inspired poetry I've written check out my wattpad page, it's all there. Thanks! 


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