Don't forget to visit the WeWriWa website and check out excerpts from the other warriors!
I got so much positive feedback last week; thank you so much to all those that read and commented on my first 8. I can't tell you how meaningful it was for me to get such a desperately needed boost.
Because the warriors that read my last 8 seemed so interested in my creation myth for the Dakina Islands, I'm continuing it with today's 8. Though, today, I'm starting from the beginning, before the bear tale took place...
When all things started, Dakina was one large land mass floating in the Endless Sea.
Sahlaana lived there alone, on Awaya’s earth.
She became lonely and ate of the earth, drank of the sea, and bathed in the lava flows.
She gave birth to three sons: Tiga, who ruled earth and was Guardian of the Body; Tanga, who ruled water and was Guardian of the Mind; and Tana, who ruled fire and was Guardian of the Heart.
For a time, Sahlaana was happy.
Then she decided she needed a daughter.
She seduced a star from the night sky and gave birth to Taijala, who ruled the skies and was Guardian of the Spirit.
Sahlaana was happy again.
Thanks for reading. Please feel free to leave any thoughts (good or bad, I need all the advice I can get!) in the comments. And Happy 8Sunday!
You've created a nice mythology. Good storytelling.
ReplyDeleteWell of course LOL there HAS to be Daughter! I enjoy the mythology here, wondering who the Daughter will end up with...well done excerpt!
ReplyDeleteThat's fantastic, and also quite deep! I love it!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this. Different and it makes me want to read more. Great extract
ReplyDeleteAges since I read a mythological tale. You've done an excellent job of setting the scene here and creating your world. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThe ebb and flow of life is easy to see her. Intriguing.
ReplyDeleteI think I married Tana!
ReplyDeleteWell done.
Wow! I missed last week but I won't miss again. Loved your style of writing and the scene was so beautiful. Wonderful scene. :-)
ReplyDeleteI just hope the siblings get along! Your mythic style for this creation story is awesome!
ReplyDeleteI'm really enjoying this creation myth! The rhythms of it are perfect.
ReplyDeleteOh, so frustrated! For some reason my 'Reply' form isn't working. So, I'll leave these comments here:
ReplyDeleteFirst, thank you all for reading and commenting, it's amazing how your comments can juice me up for more writing. It is SO appreciated.
Elaine Cantrell: Thank you so much! Mythology has always captivated me, obviously it has spilled into my 'good storytelling'. *blush*
Veronica Scott: Lol, you're right, we needed a GIRL! And trust me, her cavorting leads to some serious trouble. ;)
Kate Warren: Thank you so much, it's nice to hear I was able to provide some depth with such spare language.
Antonia van Zandt: Making you want to read more is making my day! Thank you! :)
Catherine Cavendish: Wow, thanks Catherine! GRINNING
S.J. Maylee: Thanks SJ! It's funny isn't it, how after we get what we think we want, we always find something else to want just as badly...
Frank C. Etier: If you married Tana, then well done, lol!! And thanks for your comment.
Brenda Ashworth Barry: Wow, Brenda, thank you so much, that is high praise. Now I'm nervous, I've got to make it worth your while to come back! ;)
Jenna: Wouldn't be much fun if everyone got along, would it! ;) Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
Sarah W: Oh, thanks for saying that about the rhythm, phew! I've worried that the language was stilted...thank you for popping in and saying such nice things, I'm glad you're enjoying it! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat set up myth for the backbone of a story, AJ. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Siobhan! I'm glad I get to share it here because it actually doesn't appear (in its entirety) in my actual WIP, it's just the creation story of the culture, sort of like their Bible (only oral rather than written)...anyway, thanks for your lovely comment!
DeleteI love the easy flow of language in your creation story, especially the part where she "seduced a star." Great work!
ReplyDeleteYay, thank you Ann!
DeleteI like the names and the mythology behind each of them. And I have this feeling the daughter is going to mix things up a bit for her brothers. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! I had a blast coming up with those names (inspired by the language and legends of the Haida), and yes, those brothers get a run for their money with baby sister around!
DeleteI love your creation myth, it's wholly believable as an explanation for how things came to be. As Ann said, the flow of language in your myth is very easy and feels like something that was created a long time ago.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, Clare, thank you so much! I'm a wee bit giddy. :)
DeleteA lovely set-up, I liked this.
ReplyDeleteThanks Paula, I really appreciate you coming by and reading and commenting!
DeleteYeah the language does work well.
ReplyDeleteI *kind of* bumped when you gave no hint how the first three children were conceived, especially since you mentioned the star later -- but because the language has an "old" feel to it, it works. Old stories (especially dealing with things as long ago as creation) tend to leave some things out.
Adding something about it could tell us a bit more about who & what was around back then, but it's just frosting. Thanks for sharing this snippet.
Hmn, I'll definitely think over these comments about the conception of the boys. I don't want to bump anyone up. Thanks for reading and for your thoughtful comments!
DeleteThis feels familiar enough to be believable - as in lost lore from an ancient race - the descriptions echo many old myths but you are still taking a unique angle. I am curious as to what will happen within the world you are building!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the background info, and I think the language fits perfectly. Great snippet!
ReplyDelete~Joyce Scarbrough
Interesting mythology. Especially liked this line: "She seduced a star from the night sky".
ReplyDeleteWonderful world building, I'd love to read more of this!!
ReplyDeleteSpot on mythology - it reads like a classic. I, too, loved the star seduction!
ReplyDelete