Lotus Shmotus, Hrmph!

Lotus Blossom in Summer Rain - Eddie C3

So, I wrote poetry this weekend, for the first time since I was about fifteen years old. It’s shocking how completely impossible it is for me to be objective about my writing. Is it any good at all? I suspect not, but c’mon, I haven’t written since high school. So that’s where I’m starting from, with whatever skill/talent I had twenty years ago. I find it enormously difficult to allow myself to be bad, even though I know I have to, if I want to get good. I wish this wasn’t so. But then, that is always what has held me back. I expect myself to be brilliant at everything I try and if (when) I’m not, I tend to walk away. I don’t want to learn, I just want to know.

Several years ago I traveled to Thailand, a land where Birds of Paradise grow through cracks in the pavement like dandelions. And lotuses are revered for their perseverance.

Like a lotus, my writing has to grow through the muck to get to the sky. I wish it could just grow straight from seed to flower. I wish I didn’t have to fight my way through the black muck, past slimy pond floor pebbles, avoiding the nibbling fish and frogs, and splashing dogs all the way up to the glittering surface where I have to build a lily pad on which to rest my big fat beautiful blossom. But, unfortunately, I do. Hrmph.

So, if you feel inclined, check out my poem, even give a critique if you want – it’s the only way I can get up out of the muck. 

Cheers!

A.J.