So Long, Farewell...Till December Anyway.

Working Late by Thomas Rockstar via foter.com

So, there are only four sleeps until NaNoWriMo starts. I'm currently in the throes of outlining and am writing this little post as a classic exercise in avoidance (been doing this a lot this week). 

I don't think I'll be writing any new posts until NaNo is over (it's possible, but doubtful). 

I anticipate many a late night spent hovering over my keyboard, my thoughts whirling around in an amorphous tangle, and my coffee cup woefully cold.

The Next Big Thing: Blog Hop

Happy Girl Hopscotch in Strawberry by Pink Sherbet Photography

Holy Smackers, I've been blog hop tagged! 

The amazing, generous Cat York is curious about my WIP (!) and decided to include me in this epic blog hop. 

The idea is to answer ten questions about my current WIP and then 'tag' 3-5 other writers to also complete the survey.

I'm nervous and humbled, because I'm not an author. The WIP I'm writing is my first. But, I can't say no to Cat, so I'll do my best.


1: What is the working title of your book?

A Bird's Eye View - I'm horrible with titles (my first idea was The Trickster Crow, eek). Lucky for me I know this really great writer who is BRILLIANT at titles, so she named the book for me. Thanks C!

2: Where did the idea come from for the book?

The long answer to this question can be found at this blog post. The short answer is that I wondered what it would be like to turn into one of the crows hanging around my deck and just fly, fly, fly. It's funny to think back on that now, because my WIP has moved away from this rather dramatically.

NaNoWriMo and World-Building Hell

All rights reserved © AJ Bradley 2012

You can see by this picture why I'm no artist (wink, wink). I'm ok with it.

I've been (like almost everyone else, it seems!) preparing for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month-November). NaNo, for those of you who may not know, is an exercise in "quantity not quality" writing. It's a way (for me) to write without being enslaved by my internal editor; that little voice that questions every word of every sentence as I write it, which really slows me down. Because in NaNo, you have to write 50,000 words in 30 days or less to "win", I figure I'd have no choice but to ignore the editor and just write like my fingers are on fire. 

There's Only One Way From Here to There

Leg Warmers by Harvey Edwards

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined." - Henry David Thoreau

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” - George Eliot (Mary Anne Evans)

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the  courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney

What they don't talk about is how bloody, fucking hard it is to make your dreams come true. 

It requires an enormous investment of time and effort to bridge that creative gap and get from where we are (super-sucky-omg-I'll-never-be-good-at-this) to where we want to be (holy-crap-I'm-the-next-Stephen-King). 

And there's only one road on that map. It's called Bleed Onto The Page Road. And there can only be arrived at from here. You can't be good, without getting good first. And the only way to get good, is to practice. And not just half-assed, I wrote 10,000 words today, and logged my 1,000 hours this year. It has to be hard work. It has to be deliberate practice. It creates bruises, and twisted joints. Ripped up legwarmers and broken toes. Nightmares and multi-vitamin dependencies. 

I know this is true. 
Because I've tried every other way.

Which Comes First: The Passion or the Will?

Which comes first: your passion to do something, or the will to do it? 
Do you do something because you're good at it, or so you can get good at it? 

Sneaking my own poem in with a duotang full of my favourites when I was 14.

I read a great post by Justine Musk and it has kept popping up in my mind ever since:

You might think passion comes first, and mastery second – but what if it’s the other way around? You might feel drawn to something but drop it as soon as it gets difficult or tedious or boring or unpleasant. You take this as a sign that you don’t have any passion for it. But what if passion comes after you’ve closed the creative gap (or at least worked your way partway through it)?

It's like she was speaking directly to me. I can't tell you how grateful I am for this sentiment; because I find writing excruciating. But I have reached a point in my life where I just can't abandon my WIP. You don't know me, so you don't know what this means. I assumed I would grow up to be a writer. I'm thirty-eight years old and I'm about 25% into the first novel I've ever written. I've walked away from writing all my life. Because it's really hard. Because I am afraid I have no talent for it. Because wanting to be a writer when you grow up is like wanting to be a rock star: impossible. 

She goes on to say:

Sometimes you have to choose – and commit – based on little more than instinct and faith: instinct that somewhere deep inside you, perhaps very very deep, is the ability to be good at this, and faith that the passion will grow with your ability.

"The passion will grow with your ability." AWESOME. And you know what? I think it's starting to work. Slowly, the writing is coming easier. The last two chapters I wrote were fun. Fun! And this is so kick-ass-hallelujah-restore-my-faith awesome because I will not walk away from my writing this time.

So, I may wonder sometimes that perhaps writing isn't really my calling, and I'm just being stubborn by coming back to it time and again. Because there isn't a lot of passion there...it takes a huge disciplinary effort on my part to sit at the machine and punch out some words. It's awkward, and embarrassing, and everyone else can spew out thousands of words in a day, no problem. 

But whatever. I'm doing it. 

And if things keep going the way they have been lately, perhaps the passion will grow and it'll just get more and more fun. Woot!

Steinbeck's Nobel Speech

Saw this today and had to share it: Steinbeck's Nobel Speech. 

Also puts me in mind of what has happened with the band Pussy Riot in Russia (follow the link, for real).

Let's never underestimate the power and responsibility of words, especially when expressed through art.

New Toolbox & A Borrowed Mantra

I've been obsessing over my new writing program, Scrivener (for Windows). If you've never tried it, I recommend giving it a go (you can get a free 30 day trial here)!

As with anything, there is a learning curve. But, I now have ALL of my notes (from 2009 through last night's 3:00am wake-up-with-an-idea scribble), all my pictures, all my lists, all my music, all the tools, (not to mention the actual manuscript) in one big glorious toolbox that I can navigate with ease. With ease, people! And it's so nice not have my desk caked with yellow post-its anymore.

A new toy can be a distraction. But, it can also be an inspiration. I've been watching a lot of tutorials and playing around with the program and, as with the 7 Sentence Story Test from my last post, I found areas that need some attention. Just by setting up the scrivener file.

If nothing else, learning something new makes you use your brain. The brain is lazy, it loves assumptions. "Don't worry, AJ," it says, "There are no causality issues in your outline. Just keep going and you'll be fine."  Until I hit those issues and am knocked on my ass. Learning something new, doing something new, is like a storm-warning blast to the brain. It resists, but then it starts to hum and jump, and before you know it, you're solving problems that save you from that ass-hitting-pavement moment.

Learning, doing, something we've never done before (like writing a damn novel!) is hard. But you know what? It is fun. And it's noble. As Phedre no Delaunay learned, "All knowledge is worth having."

So I will leave you with this. I watch it. OFTEN. It gets me inspired, every time.

 

zefrank.com

PS: Someday, BoyChild is going to ask me what I wanted to be when I  grew up. My answer will be "a writer". Then he'll ask, "Then why aren't you a writer, Mommy?" I refuse to accept that my answer could be, "Because I never tried."